Is it possible to ALWAYS be positive????

I'm not even sure how to start this blog other than to say I am having an oh poor me pity day....

I have in the past hinted at the fact that Matt and I have not had an easy time having children of our own. The fact of the matter is in the entire time that we have been married we have never used protection of any kind, we weren't trying to not get pregnant. We also haven't gone to any great lengths to get pregnant either other than just having regular sex. I know that there are things about my system that don't work right and there is a history of infertility in my family. Why we haven't done more to get pregnant is complicated, very complicated.... and has changed from year to year. At first it was that we couldn't afford anything more than a doctors visit, at points it was that we were having the normal ups and downs of any relationship and didn't want to add going through the emotional struggles we knew we would face to our already long list of problems that we were having. And I guess at the heart of it all was my fear of failing. What if I put all this effort into it and it just didn't work? Could I bear that? Could our marriage bear that?

Through this all I have tried to keep a positive attitude and not let myself get into pity mode when I hear that others are pregnant. I can usually do this pretty well, however there are exceptions..... I have the hardest time hearing about parents that continue to have kids that weren't planned, they didn't want, that are messing up their social lives etc.....I just want to scream at them "don't you know what you have!!!! Don't you know that there are people, more people than just me that would give anything to have a child as wonderful as yours in their life???"

This week I seem to be having a harder time keeping my thoughts positive. It seems as if everywhere I turn there is someone I know announcing they are pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I would never wish my issues on someone else or wish that any of those people had to feel the way I feel. That is like me saying that I would rather have my own child than to have one of my nieces or nephews in my life, my life would not be as amazing as it is without all of the wonderful people I have in it.

What do you do to get rid of the negative and keep the positive?

Crazy Busy July!

Well we have had yet another crazy month at our house :)

Matt got a new job with a company based in Iowa so he has taken 2 trips out there this month, one for 2 weeks (at the end of June) and the other one for 1 week. He is loving this new job, it is challenging and that is what he loves! So far so good :)

We had a ton of fun the weekend of the 4th of July, Matt got home from his business trip and the whole weekend was filled with family fun. On Saturday we went to the pool with all of the kiddos including Hadlee who loved it!

Hanging at the pool :)

Miss Hadlee

Ben even got in on the fun.

On Sunday night we had a BBQ with the Benson's out at Gayle and Alans. They were so generous to have us all over for dinner. So much good food and lots of fun times including Grandpa getting soaked with water balloons.

We ended the night with fireworks out front

Hadlee loved the fireworks!

The next day on the fourth we spent the day at the West Point 4th of July festivities including the parade and carnival. Then the fireworks at Clearfield.

Getting ready for them to start.

Hadlee was pretty excited!

The next weekend Ashlee, Jordan and I went to see Kenny Chesney at USANA Amphitheater. We had a blast and it was a great show. So glad that we decided to go.

We had an awesome spot on the grass thanks to Jordan, our little runner :) Can't wait for Tim McGraw next month :)

Not sure what was up with my shirt but I look pretty lumpy :(

We also celebrated Ashlee's birthday with a weekend of fun, sun, family and friends! We went to Pineview during the day on Saturday and then followed it up with a big BBQ at our house that night with a bunch of our friends and family.

We still have another half of the month to go! And we have a ton to pack into that time :)

Bear Lake 5k

What a fun weekend! We had so much fun this past weekend up in Bloomington with our family. We have started a new tradition with the Earl family. Last year was the first time we participated in the Bear Lake 5k and this year makes it the second time. This year though lots more of our family was able to come up and enjoy this special time with us.

We had a ton of fun the rest of the weekend too! 4-wheeling in the canyon, lots of good food, homemade ice cream, relaxing, sitting by the fire, lil smokies over the fire, s'mores (gourmet of course), catching up on what is going on with everyone, making new memories, swinging in the hammock and swing, and just having a great time!

Heading out for the first ride, notice that we are all fairly clean at this point :)

Ben, Mom, Ashley, Hadlee and Tessa heading out.

We found SNOW!!!

Dad even got in on the fun in the Jeep. I think he may have had more fun than we did :)

But the number one reason we were all there was to remember our wonderful Grandma who we all miss very much! Love you Grandma Earl!!

It's been forever!

Man I need to get better at this whole blogging thing! It has been a loooooong time since I have updated everyone on what is going on in our lives. So here you go......

Work: Matt is working.... I am not...... LOL...... Matt is doing very well making a name for himself in his industry. He has taken on a few big clients and and few small ones too. He is amazingly smart at what he does. I have been watching my sisters kiddos for her while they are working. It has been so fun to have Aspen and Kaigan during the day and picking the girls up from school is always an adventure.

Home: We are trying to get our yard finished up... we need to finish the gardens, get the parking pad on the side of the house put in, get a shed put up in the backyard and get the veggie garden in for the summer. The grass is finally starting to look okay and we are slowly making progress.

Family: We have been trying to spend as much time as possible with Matt's brother Pat and his wife Melissa and their daughter Lily. They will be moving to Kentucky at the end of May so that Pat can go to dental school. He recently graduated from Weber State, we are so proud of him! It was definitely a family effort so good job Pat Melissa and Lily!!! We are going to miss them tons but we are so excited for them to have this great adventure! And we will be going on lots of vacations to Kentucky in the next 4 to 8 years!

We also got to SPOIL our nieces and nephews and some of our friends kids for Easter this year. We threw a big Easter egg hunt and BBQ at our house for them all. I am not sure who had more fun, the big kids or the little ones!

Fun: Matt and I have decided that we want to buy a Rhino or a Razor this summer. We can't wait to get out there and have some fun!

I am so ready for summer! Hopefully there will be lots more for us to update you on!