Is it possible to ALWAYS be positive????

I'm not even sure how to start this blog other than to say I am having an oh poor me pity day....

I have in the past hinted at the fact that Matt and I have not had an easy time having children of our own. The fact of the matter is in the entire time that we have been married we have never used protection of any kind, we weren't trying to not get pregnant. We also haven't gone to any great lengths to get pregnant either other than just having regular sex. I know that there are things about my system that don't work right and there is a history of infertility in my family. Why we haven't done more to get pregnant is complicated, very complicated.... and has changed from year to year. At first it was that we couldn't afford anything more than a doctors visit, at points it was that we were having the normal ups and downs of any relationship and didn't want to add going through the emotional struggles we knew we would face to our already long list of problems that we were having. And I guess at the heart of it all was my fear of failing. What if I put all this effort into it and it just didn't work? Could I bear that? Could our marriage bear that?

Through this all I have tried to keep a positive attitude and not let myself get into pity mode when I hear that others are pregnant. I can usually do this pretty well, however there are exceptions..... I have the hardest time hearing about parents that continue to have kids that weren't planned, they didn't want, that are messing up their social lives etc.....I just want to scream at them "don't you know what you have!!!! Don't you know that there are people, more people than just me that would give anything to have a child as wonderful as yours in their life???"

This week I seem to be having a harder time keeping my thoughts positive. It seems as if everywhere I turn there is someone I know announcing they are pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I would never wish my issues on someone else or wish that any of those people had to feel the way I feel. That is like me saying that I would rather have my own child than to have one of my nieces or nephews in my life, my life would not be as amazing as it is without all of the wonderful people I have in it.

What do you do to get rid of the negative and keep the positive?

Crazy Busy July!

Well we have had yet another crazy month at our house :)

Matt got a new job with a company based in Iowa so he has taken 2 trips out there this month, one for 2 weeks (at the end of June) and the other one for 1 week. He is loving this new job, it is challenging and that is what he loves! So far so good :)

We had a ton of fun the weekend of the 4th of July, Matt got home from his business trip and the whole weekend was filled with family fun. On Saturday we went to the pool with all of the kiddos including Hadlee who loved it!

Hanging at the pool :)

Miss Hadlee

Ben even got in on the fun.

On Sunday night we had a BBQ with the Benson's out at Gayle and Alans. They were so generous to have us all over for dinner. So much good food and lots of fun times including Grandpa getting soaked with water balloons.

We ended the night with fireworks out front

Hadlee loved the fireworks!

The next day on the fourth we spent the day at the West Point 4th of July festivities including the parade and carnival. Then the fireworks at Clearfield.

Getting ready for them to start.

Hadlee was pretty excited!

The next weekend Ashlee, Jordan and I went to see Kenny Chesney at USANA Amphitheater. We had a blast and it was a great show. So glad that we decided to go.

We had an awesome spot on the grass thanks to Jordan, our little runner :) Can't wait for Tim McGraw next month :)

Not sure what was up with my shirt but I look pretty lumpy :(

We also celebrated Ashlee's birthday with a weekend of fun, sun, family and friends! We went to Pineview during the day on Saturday and then followed it up with a big BBQ at our house that night with a bunch of our friends and family.

We still have another half of the month to go! And we have a ton to pack into that time :)

Bear Lake 5k

What a fun weekend! We had so much fun this past weekend up in Bloomington with our family. We have started a new tradition with the Earl family. Last year was the first time we participated in the Bear Lake 5k and this year makes it the second time. This year though lots more of our family was able to come up and enjoy this special time with us.

We had a ton of fun the rest of the weekend too! 4-wheeling in the canyon, lots of good food, homemade ice cream, relaxing, sitting by the fire, lil smokies over the fire, s'mores (gourmet of course), catching up on what is going on with everyone, making new memories, swinging in the hammock and swing, and just having a great time!

Heading out for the first ride, notice that we are all fairly clean at this point :)

Ben, Mom, Ashley, Hadlee and Tessa heading out.

We found SNOW!!!

Dad even got in on the fun in the Jeep. I think he may have had more fun than we did :)

But the number one reason we were all there was to remember our wonderful Grandma who we all miss very much! Love you Grandma Earl!!

It's been forever!

Man I need to get better at this whole blogging thing! It has been a loooooong time since I have updated everyone on what is going on in our lives. So here you go......

Work: Matt is working.... I am not...... LOL...... Matt is doing very well making a name for himself in his industry. He has taken on a few big clients and and few small ones too. He is amazingly smart at what he does. I have been watching my sisters kiddos for her while they are working. It has been so fun to have Aspen and Kaigan during the day and picking the girls up from school is always an adventure.

Home: We are trying to get our yard finished up... we need to finish the gardens, get the parking pad on the side of the house put in, get a shed put up in the backyard and get the veggie garden in for the summer. The grass is finally starting to look okay and we are slowly making progress.

Family: We have been trying to spend as much time as possible with Matt's brother Pat and his wife Melissa and their daughter Lily. They will be moving to Kentucky at the end of May so that Pat can go to dental school. He recently graduated from Weber State, we are so proud of him! It was definitely a family effort so good job Pat Melissa and Lily!!! We are going to miss them tons but we are so excited for them to have this great adventure! And we will be going on lots of vacations to Kentucky in the next 4 to 8 years!

We also got to SPOIL our nieces and nephews and some of our friends kids for Easter this year. We threw a big Easter egg hunt and BBQ at our house for them all. I am not sure who had more fun, the big kids or the little ones!

Fun: Matt and I have decided that we want to buy a Rhino or a Razor this summer. We can't wait to get out there and have some fun!

I am so ready for summer! Hopefully there will be lots more for us to update you on!

Things I have learned about me... the stolen blog

So I just read a friends blog and loved it so I am stealing her idea :) Thanks Carlee Hansen for the idea!

Here are a few of the things I have learned about me.

1-I am a really stubborn person. I accuse my hubby of being stubborn but the fact is I am just as much as he is.

2-There are times that I am totally okay with being lazy. I usually feel guilty about it later but in the moment I am okay with it.

3-I have no will power at all.

4-I have a super bad habit of not finishing stuff that I start. If there were one thing that I could instantly change about myself this would be it. Who knows I might not even finish this blog.... I think I just get easily bored with things.

5-I have a strong aversion to good for me things, fruits, veggies, non fattening foods. I can say that I am a junk food addict. This would be thing #2 that I would pick to instantly change about me.

6-Somehow I missed out on the girly genes in my family. How is it that I do not know how to do hair or put on makeup and make it look good. I look at my sisters and think, wow I really missed out on those classes or something.

7-I think of my dog as my kid. Hopefully if we have real kids that will change but for right now Daisy is it.

8-Living with just Matt for as long as I have has changed the amount of noise and confusion I can handle before its time for me to tell the nieces and nephews good night and run for the hills!

9-I am uncomfortable with physical contact. I am not sure why this is but it is mostly with people who are skinnyier than me (which is a lot of people). I don't like to touch my fat so why would I make them? I know, issues.... I have them....

10-I don't have a lot of favorite things, no favorite color, no favorite food, no favorite season, no favorite holiday. They all have good things about them and it is too hard to choose.

I'm sure that there will be more that I learn as I go on but here is the start.

End of summer update

Well before I knew what had happened this summer just snuck away from us! Once again we were so busy that I didn't have a ton of time to take it all in or write it all down. I guess that just means that we had too much fun!

Here are some of the highlights:

Miss Lily turned 2 in June and Melissa put together the cutest train themed party for her since Lily loves trains. She got some awesome gifts and tons of sun glasses from her uncles, she is definitely a loved little girl.

We spent a weekend up at my aunts cabin in the Bear Lake area and did a 5k race with my family in memory of my Grandma Earl. It was such an amazing experience and I am so glad that my Grandpa and Aunt Christine were able to join us. We had so much fun spending time with them at the cabin and just getting to know each other again as adults. My Grandpa is such a character! I absolutely LOVE spending time with him.

Matt and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary this year! Matt had to work late that night so we ended up just having dinner here at the house but we still had a good day.

This year the 4th of July was on a Sunday so that meant a whole weekend of fun! We spent the day on Saturday going to the West Point Parade and carnival. We had a BBQ at Erin's, and one on Monday at Aunt Pat's.

Up next was Cherry Hill with the Bookers for Ashlee's birthday. This is the second year we have gone and we had so much fun!

We also had a surprise party that night for Ashlee at my mom and dad's house since she was turning the big 3-0! I can not believe that we managed to keep it a secret from her for over 2 months! We did a luau theme and Courtnee and Randi did such an amazing job on the decorations.

For the 24th of July we packed up the camping stuff and headed up to Weber Memorial camp ground up by Causey. Ashley was able to get us a reservation for the most awesome group site since she works for Weber County. We were down in a little valley area that was totally blocked off and we had tons of room for everyone. We hung out at the campground, spent a day swimming at Causey and even went for a little bit of a 4-wheeler ride up on Monte. We spent the evenings sitting around the HUGE campfire and Ben roasted littl' smokies for us instead of marshmallows :)

In August we had a bit of a rough start. Ashley's parents were involved in an accident on their motorcycle the first part of August. It has been a long road of recovery for both of them and they still have a ways to go. They also lost a good family friend in the accident. I am amazed at the strength that they have both shown in working through this. We love them so much and don't know what we would do without them!

Matt also found out at the beginning of August that he was laid off from his job. While I freaked out he just started getting his name and resume out there and before we knew it he had tons of offers coming in. While most of them would require that we move out of state he was able to find out that for now will allow him to work from home with the possibility of working for them permanently once they can see how the work from home thing works out. They have been sending him a ton of work and keeping him really busy.

We have made some good progress on our yard as well. We now have a lawn to mow!!!! I am so excited to see it coming together. We are going to wait until the spring to do the concert curbing but we are going to work on getting the flower beds planted this fall, we just can't pass up the great fall sales that are going on now!

Is it summer yet??

I really can't believe that it is the middle of June and we are still having weather that reminds me of April and May! It is actually a good thing for us though, we are still in the process of getting our yard put in and the cooler weather is great for seeding a lawn, if we can ever get to that point. We are almost done with the sprinkler system, we just have to put in one more line and hook up the last set of valves. We are so lucky to have the family we do, they have shown up several nights in a row and helped us get everything put together! My dad has been awesome, patiently answering my many, and sometimes ridiculous, questions about what goes where and why things work the way they do. He has a way of making things just make sense. It has been fun to see Matt really get into doing stuff in the yard, sometimes I still have to drag him out there screaming but we still manage to get done what needs to be done. We also got our veggie garden planted, I can't wait to see how things turn out, can't wait to have an ear of fresh corn with dinner!

Right now pretty much all of our time is spent working on yard stuff. This coming weekend we do get to take some time off and do something fun for a good cause. Last summer my Grandma Earl passed away after fighting cancer for about 3 years. During the time that she was receiving her treatments she was going down to the Huntsman Cancer Institute. When Brandi and I were down at the Susan Koman Race for Life 5k Brandi said she wanted to find out if there was a 5k the benefited the Huntsman Cancer Institute and if so we should participate in it in honor of our Grandma. So she did some digging and found one that is being held up at Bear Lake. We are going to head up the night before and stay for the weekend at my aunt Jane's cabin and spend some time with the family and with my Grandpa as well. It should be a very memorable weekend!