Catching up...

It has been a while since I have posted so I thought I would get some new info up here for anyone who reads.

To say that this summer has been busy would be an understatement of the century! We have had so much going on this summer it seems that we are always on the run.

The whole month of July seems like a blur. In my previous post I had mentioned that my Grandma Earl was not doing well. I feel so lucky now to have know this before hand so that I was able to spend some time with her and really let her know how much I loved her before she passed away. I am not sure what it is with us Earl's but it was very hard to go see her while she was sick. I know that part of it was that I wanted my memories of my Grandma to be of the healthy, vibrant, wonderfully funny person that she has always been in my life. To see her sick and in pain was hard for me to deal with, which also made me feel very selfish as I was staying away for reasons that only had to do with me and my feelings. I knew that it was important for her that she have a chance to let us all know her thoughts and feelings as well. In the end I feel good about the time that I did have with her. I know that I was not up there as often as some of my other family members but I was there enough to know that I was loved and enough that she knew I loved her. All in all I think that is what is important, that those feelings were made known before she passed away.

This funeral for many reasons seemed different for me. I kept thinking that there was something wrong with me, I was not as openly emotional as those around me, although I know that I was missing her as much as they were. I just could not be sad that she was gone. I know that the last 4 years for her were painful and hard. I know that she is in a much better place now and that her faith never wavered. I know that she was ready to go, she told she was. I was not surprised, but amazed to realize how many people she knew and was loved by. Even though there was very short notice given for the funeral and viewing there were so many people that came out to support and show their love for her. I have always known that my Grandma was a lovable person, I just didn't realize how many other people knew that too. Seeing all of those people there it was impossible to think that her life was anything less than blessed.

There are things about her being gone that do make me sad but mostly have to do with those that she left behind. I cry when I think of my Grandpa being alone now. He had the most faithful partner one could ask for for over 50 years. My Grandma loved taking care of him. She didn't see it as a job or a responsibility, she saw it as something she loved to do. Again I have stayed away. I am having a hard time facing that reality that when I walk in the front door at Grandma and Grandpa's it is just going to be Grandpa... I hope that my Grandpa knows that this has anything to do with how much I love him, I just can't seem to make myself face it yet. It's pretty selfish but I have to do it in my own time.

In August our attention turned to Ben and Ashley and their wonderful wedding! It was a near perfect day, the only downsides were not having our Grandmas there and me not working the cam-corder correctly! Ashley made a BEAUTIFUL bride and I just have to say I have one of the most HANDSOME brothers ever!! I am so happy for both of them, and wish them the happiest life ever!!!

Ben and Ashley asked me to help them put together a video for the wedding of pictures of them when they were little and then some of them together and their engagement pictures. I had so much fun putting it together and working with them on it! I really got to know Ashley better and had a blast working with her.

This coming weekend is thankfully our first weekend with NOTHING planned!! Time to relax!

Memories...

This past week has left me feeling rather nostalgic. My family found out on Monday that there is nothing more that the doctors can do for my Grandma E. in her fight against cancer and they can only give her 2 to 3 more weeks to live. The thing that amazes me the most is that she is the one that is trying to comfort us through this whole thing. I went up and visited on Wednesday and she let me know then that she was ready to face whatever came her way. She knows that she has had a successful, fulfilled, happy life. She is such a strong woman even at her weakest point.

I want to make sure that I get some of my memories recorded while they are still fresh. And I want to thank all of my cousins and siblings for sharing their memories over the last week which has helped me remember some things that I had tucked away.

One of my earliest memories was spending long hot summer days just hanging out in Grandma and Grandpa's yard. They had a ton of grass and lots of shade and it was the perfect spot for all the kids to play. She would let us take blankets out and lay out on the lawn and play and visit. We spent hours sitting outside snipping beans or husking corn so that our mom's could help her can it or put it in Seal-A-Meal bags to go in the freezer.

Sundays were always spent at Grandma's. Sometimes we went up for dinner but most of the time we just went up to visit which always included cake and Farr's Chocolate Chip ice cream. And Grandma always got the corner pieces of the cake. And if there were two kinds of cake she always wanted "just a little piece of both, but make sure that it is a corner." If we were lucky Grandma would make home made ice cream for us, that was a special treat and man did we LOVE it. After dessert was out of the way our favorite thing to do while the adults talked was combing Grandma's hair. We would fight over the comb and she was always fair about making sure we each got a turn. Even though we loved to do it I think she enjoyed it more, give us 20 minutes with the comb and Grandma would fall asleep sitting up!

If we ever got hungry while we were at Grandma's we could always talk her into making us a sandwich, home made raspberry freezer jam or peanut butter and honey. Some of my other favorites were sloppy joes and her orange jello salad with marshmallows.

My Grandma is an amazing quilter. There was rarely a time when we were little that there was not a quilt on when we got to Grandma's. I have been the recipient of a few of Grandma's quilts. We used to hide out under the quilts while our mom's worked on them with Grandma. It was like our own little secret hide out down there. I wish that I had even half of the talent that she has in that department. Her quilts are definitely a work of art.

Grandma is also very good at telling stories. She loves to tell us about how she met my Grandpa and about the time they spent dating. She would pull out her yearbook from Davis High and open it to the picture of Grandpa in his basketball uniform and say "look at those legs! Aren't they just sexy!" I love looking at pictures of my grandparents when they were young, we would look at them and tease my Grandma about what a hottie she was when she first married my Grandpa. She would just laugh and tell us how lucky she was to have fallen in love with my Grandpa.

I don't think that there were ever any strangers in my Grandma's life or anyone that she didn't know. No matter where we went she always made it a point to meet new people. I remember taking my cousin to the airport, back when you could do that, when he was leaving on his mission. As we were walking towards the terminal there was a whole line of missionaries waiting for their flight to get there. Grandma noticed that they didn't have parents there to send them off so she went over and introduced herself to them, asked them each where they were serving their missions and wished them good luck on their missions. When we asked her why she did that she said that she didn't want them to feel bad that their families weren't there to see them off.

If you asked my Grandma if she knew someone most of the time she could tell you where they lived, who they were related to and what ward they were in. She made it a point to get to know everyone she came in contact with and was always willing to help out whenever needed.

I love you so much Grandma. I hope that the rest of the time that we have with you can be meaningful and pain free for you. You have taught me some of the most important lessons in life. Be strong, don't worry about the little stuff and be a friend to everyone. I pray that I become half the woman you are!

Congratulations are in order...

As if I didn't have enough sisters I am so excited to be getting another one! That's right... Ben finally did what we have been begging him to do, he officially proposed to Ashley this past weekend! I am so excited for them and can't wait for the wedding!

The love of family

I just have to say this... I have the most amazing family EVER! Matt and I have recently been going through some ruff financial times. Paychecks from work are never for the full amount and never on time. We are hoping that by sacrificing now that when the company takes off we can have a part of that success. 

That being said, Tuesday I had to make a choice, I could buy food for Matt and I or I could buy a bag of dog food for the dogs. I have been watching Erin's dog Bella for her since they can't have pets at their apartment and their neighbors have been giving her grief about having her there. I knew that Erin had a large bag of dog food sitting at her house so I went ahead and bought food for us and planned on asking Erin if I could take that bag of dog food. So that night I went to her house to go to the gym and when I was leaving I explained why I needed it. She of course said go ahead and take it and kept a little bit there so that when Bella was home she could feed her.

So Wednesday afternoon I was sitting here working and get a phone call from Erin asking if we had plans tonight, I told her that we didn't and she said good, we are bringing stuff over for dinner, we haven't done dinner there for a while so we are all coming over. I was excited for everyone to come over and asked if there was anything I needed to do, she said nope, just get ready for a full house!

A few hours later she and Ashlee show up and proceed to unpack their cars. Erin had talked to Cody about our situation and he had handed over his paycheck and told her to make sure that we were taken care of. They had gone shopping for us and bought enough food to feed the two of us for a month! They thought of everything, food, toilet paper, shampoo, conditioner, dog food and treats, deodorant, stuff for lunches, EVERYTHING! All I could do was cry! I still am! 

They are the most selfless, giving people that I know. They knew that we had been struggling and gave everything that they could to make things a little easier for us. They are both single mothers working full time to give their kids the life that they want them to have, sacrificing things that they personally want to be able to give their kids everything. And then instead of spending that little extra on themselves they give again, to us. I hope some day to be able to repay this ten times over. I know that the saying is that it is better to give than to receive, but I have to say that being on the receiving end of something like this is a very emotional, rewarding, humbling experience.

I know that I don't say it enough but I love my family!

Welcome to our Rollercoaster!

Wow, the last couple weeks have once again been filled with many ups and downs...

At 8:05 am on January 28th we had our first giant up... Kaigan Jackson was welcomed to the world by his parents, although Cody was feeling a little green at first he soon recovered to take on the role of super dad!

As you can tell from the picture the kid's got a good set of lungs on him. He weighed in at 6lbs 9oz. and 20 inches long (I think). He is adorable, although he did mark his territory on both mom and dad right away.  Erin did have to end up having a C-section so she spent 4 long days at the hospital before she got to take him home. 

That evening Matt and I went to his brothers house for dinner since January 28th is also Matt's mom's birthday. Melissa made an awesome dinner and then we hung out with Lily while Melissa went to Young Womens. Lily is such a ham and once she got warmed up to us she really put on a show!

Lily also showed us her newest skill, she loves giving uncle Matt kisses! At first she wouldn't give Deb or I one, just Matt. By the end of the night though we all got a bye-bye kiss.

Most of the downs that we have been having are with Matt's job, right now he is the one that has to do most of the work, before the rest of us can get started, and so to say the least he is stressed! He has been working long hours and working with people that don't have the same understanding that he does and that makes it frustrating for him. I can't wait until the site is done, or just launched, and he can relax a little. 

Another up that I had was when I went to shoot some pictures for a friends wedding. This was my first real wedding to take pictures of and I was way nervous. I am glad that I had my friend Anya there to help me since she has done weddings before. I am very excited and will post some pictures when I get copies of them from Anya. 

And of course when the Steelers won the Superbowl that was a HUGE up for Matt, he is a Steelers fan for sure!

Today I had a very personal down moment, while reading my aunt's blog I realized that I had totally forgotten that on February 2nd it was the anniversary of my Grandma passing away. I first started to cry because it hit me right then just how much I have missed her. Then I got so mad at myself for not remembering.... how could I forget something as important as that.... how could I have let my life get so out of focus that I forget about a person that is so special to me.... not to mention those people who are still here with me that I have neglected to keep in touch with. Right now I feel like the most horrible grand-daughter ever. I have to get my stuff back in line and really get back in touch with my family. On both sides. 

I just hope that my Grandma knows how much I love her and miss her! 

Hectic Week

So the last week or so has been quite busy for my family and I. We thought that this weekend was going to be rather uneventful, wrong! Erin had a for sure answer from the OB about when she would be having Kaigan so we didn't think that we would be back at the hospital again until then. I guess that my dad decided that we needed to spend some more time at good old Davis North!

Saturday I had asked my mom if she wanted to go to the Rod Works clearance center in Layton to see what cool stuff they had there. I just wanted to look and try to get some ideas for my living room and family room. She and my dad just remodeled their bedroom and she was looking for stuff for that room. So we headed out at around 11:30 to go see what we could find. We hadn't been there for more than 20 minutes and my mom gets a call on her cell phone. I wasn't sure who she was talking to but from the sounds of the conversation I thought for sure it was Erin and that she was going to the hospital to have the baby. I was completely shocked to find out that it was my dad on the phone. When I asked my mom why he was going to the hospital she said that he thought that he was having a heart attack.

I know not to question these things with my dad, he has been the safety and first aid trainer when he worked at Craythorn and went through the trainings every year with the guys on his crew. Not only would they cover what to do to give CPR and first aid to injured people but they also covered what to look for if someone is having a heart attack. He knew that since he was having pressure in his chest, dizziness and loos of circulation in his arms that there was something going on.

Needless to say my mom and I ended our shopping trip and went to meet him at the hospital. He decided that he should not drive himself so he asked Jordan to bring him up since she was there and it would take us too long to get all the way home and drive right back up to the same area we were already at. The one funny thing about this whole thing was watching my dad unfold himself from Jordans little sports car. My dad is a tall guy, Jordans car is a little car, still not sure how he fit himself in there!

They took him into the ER to do a series of tests and found that he was having very irregular heart beats for about 15 minutes every hour or so. When he was having these irregular heart beats he couldn't feel the difference. So the doctor decided to keep him overnight so that they could do a full series of tests. They did blood work, EKG, ultrasound and a CAT scan, then after they got the results from those back they did a stress test. Sunday they let him know that they had one more test to do and kept him for another night so that they could do an angiogram. When they did the angiogram they found 2 spots that were 10 percent blocked. Thank goodness that it wasn't more! So there will be some lifestyle changes that he will be making as well as regular visits to the cardiologist over the next couple months. 

I am really thankful that they were able to find these things now while they are still relatively small and can be fixed without having to do anything major.