It has been a while since I have posted so I thought I would get some new info up here for anyone who reads.
To say that this summer has been busy would be an understatement of the century! We have had so much going on this summer it seems that we are always on the run.
The whole month of July seems like a blur. In my previous post I had mentioned that my Grandma Earl was not doing well. I feel so lucky now to have know this before hand so that I was able to spend some time with her and really let her know how much I loved her before she passed away. I am not sure what it is with us Earl's but it was very hard to go see her while she was sick. I know that part of it was that I wanted my memories of my Grandma to be of the healthy, vibrant, wonderfully funny person that she has always been in my life. To see her sick and in pain was hard for me to deal with, which also made me feel very selfish as I was staying away for reasons that only had to do with me and my feelings. I knew that it was important for her that she have a chance to let us all know her thoughts and feelings as well. In the end I feel good about the time that I did have with her. I know that I was not up there as often as some of my other family members but I was there enough to know that I was loved and enough that she knew I loved her. All in all I think that is what is important, that those feelings were made known before she passed away.
This funeral for many reasons seemed different for me. I kept thinking that there was something wrong with me, I was not as openly emotional as those around me, although I know that I was missing her as much as they were. I just could not be sad that she was gone. I know that the last 4 years for her were painful and hard. I know that she is in a much better place now and that her faith never wavered. I know that she was ready to go, she told she was. I was not surprised, but amazed to realize how many people she knew and was loved by. Even though there was very short notice given for the funeral and viewing there were so many people that came out to support and show their love for her. I have always known that my Grandma was a lovable person, I just didn't realize how many other people knew that too. Seeing all of those people there it was impossible to think that her life was anything less than blessed.
There are things about her being gone that do make me sad but mostly have to do with those that she left behind. I cry when I think of my Grandpa being alone now. He had the most faithful partner one could ask for for over 50 years. My Grandma loved taking care of him. She didn't see it as a job or a responsibility, she saw it as something she loved to do. Again I have stayed away. I am having a hard time facing that reality that when I walk in the front door at Grandma and Grandpa's it is just going to be Grandpa... I hope that my Grandpa knows that this has anything to do with how much I love him, I just can't seem to make myself face it yet. It's pretty selfish but I have to do it in my own time.
In August our attention turned to Ben and Ashley and their wonderful wedding! It was a near perfect day, the only downsides were not having our Grandmas there and me not working the cam-corder correctly! Ashley made a BEAUTIFUL bride and I just have to say I have one of the most HANDSOME brothers ever!! I am so happy for both of them, and wish them the happiest life ever!!!
Ben and Ashley asked me to help them put together a video for the wedding of pictures of them when they were little and then some of them together and their engagement pictures. I had so much fun putting it together and working with them on it! I really got to know Ashley better and had a blast working with her.
This coming weekend is thankfully our first weekend with NOTHING planned!! Time to relax!
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